I’m Not in Control

God keeps trying to teach me the same lesson over and over again: I’m not in control.

For an over-organized, type A planner like myself, major twists and turns (and to be honest also some minor ones) can throw me for a loop. It’s scary because I don’t always know what’s next. I used to think that if I know what’s coming, I can devise a plan that will straighten out the curves on the path leading there. But here’s God’s honest truth: Control is an illusion. We only set ourselves up for frustration and disappointment in perpetually trying to obtain it. Rather than fight to control our lives and the circumstances we encounter, we should let go and let God lead us.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

What if we allowed ourselves to believe that someone else—God—was in control? He did give us free will, and there are always consequences to whatever decision we may make, large or small. But what if we allowed ourselves to believe that God had a bigger and better plan for our lives? What if we believed that He purposefully places certain people in our lives as examples of His love? The lack of control suddenly becomes a whole lot less scary.

It Takes a Village

Like in the Proverb above, we shouldn’t lean only on ourselves. Not only is that exhausting, but God gave us a community here on Earth to lean on for a reason. We all have complementary gifts that help achieve more together. Even Jesus ventured out with 12 disciples, and He sent the disciples out in pairs, not alone.

Life experiences are so much better with good friends and family by your side. From my limited experience helping others overcome poverty, it’s apparent that a positive support network can work wonders. Here in Houston, we have an awesome community of friends that have become our extended family, our oikos. It’s such a blessing to have great friends and family near and far. We are so thankful and much better people because of it.

God’s Plan is Better Than Mine

In recent years, I’d like to think I’ve loosened up a bit and no longer plan out every detail of my life. I’ve been working on being open to what God has in store for me and my family. However, the repeat of this lesson—I’m not in control—must mean that I still need to work on this.

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” – Proverbs 16:9

For instance, I never expected to earn my MBA and just two years later become a stay-at-home mom. (Read more about my decision to do so in my post: “I Can’t Do It All: Why I Became a Stay-at-Home Mom”)

Later this month my husband and I will have been married for six years. During that time, we moved from our hometown to Houston, Texas; renovated two houses; changed jobs; survived my husband being laid off from the job that brought us to Houston just months after we purchased our current home; endured my earning my MBA in the evenings while I worked full-time; started a non-profit, RighTrak Industries; helped lead and plant a new church, Oikos Church; and started a family. While I anticipated marrying my high school sweetheart, earning a master’s degree and starting a family, the rest I certainly didn’t expect. But that’s OK. God’s plan for my life thus far is so much sweeter than I could have imagined.

Up Next: You’ll hear about how RighTrak started from my husband’s perspective in what he calls his “Big, Fat Kairos Moment.”



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